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hell on earth

My name is Bree, I grew up watching my father kill himself with crystal meth, he was constantly in and out of jail or rehab. As a little girl I swore off drugs forever, as I got older things didn't work out the way I thought they would.

I started doing drugs when I was 14, but just pot and alcohol and pills. Until I was 17, I tried crystal for the first time. I remember thinking it wasn't even that great, but I kept on doing it. I used to get into huge arguments with my mother, she knew I was doing it because she had dealt with my dad so she was able to spot it really quick.

I turned 18 and I immediately moved out of my mothers house, I moved in with my drug dealer. I quickly thought I was in love with him, I thought he was everything I ever dreamed of. All I had to do for drugs was sleep with him, and I was okay with that. Until he wanted me to start sleeping with all his friends to help get him out of debt, or to "help a friend out." The first time he asked me to sleep with his friends I refused, so he beat me, then I agreed. The second time, I refused, he beat me, then I agreed. The third time I just agreed.

I used to think I was this tough girl and nobody could hurt me, I thought I was invincible. Until some of these men started to just flat out rape me. I lost every ounce of self respect and dignity I had. But it was all okay at the time because at least I was doing it for a good reason, to get high.

Once I finally got the courage to ask my family for help, it was the best decision I ever made. I've been in and out of the NA/AA programs for the last 2 years, and I currently have 31 days sober. It hasn't been easy, and unfortunately I'm not one of those people who got sober and stayed sober the first time. But I know today I don't have to live that life anymore.

All I can say for those people who are still getting high is, you don't have to live like that, there is a way out. And for all those people out there who are losing family and friends everyday due to crystal meth, hang in there, because its not always a bad ending.

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